Outfit update:

The new sexy knee high boots I bought today just got stuck round my fat legs, stopping all blood circulation, I swear I almost fainted.

I'm now writing this with my legs dangling in to my chest freezer. I just thought, I'll be wearing bowling shoes at the do, and bowling shoes absolutely do not go with the outfit I have planned.

If ever there were a crisis, this is one.

Dreaded Christmas party tomorrow and I've been rushing round the shops on my lunch break to find the 'perfect' outfit on a budget of zilch.
Gordon announced we were all allowed to leave the office an hour early tomorrow in order to get ready and meet at the bowling alley. Who the hell has a works do at a bowling alley? It appears we do.
He also announced on the next breath that we were all to be in work no later than 9am the next day or heads will roll.
Merry Christmas Gordon!

Other news, I've heard on the grapevine aka myspace - Stu has used the words Lexi, stalker and bunny-boiler in the same sentence.
What's wrong with a few... hundred missed calls on his mobile? Honestly, can't a girl check her ex is OK without being judged?

What is this world coming to? I ask you.

Not really having a pro-active day. Woke up to find Stu in the living room, in his boxers making himself very much at home, which by the way is not his.
'What are you doing?' I managed to say through the pounds in my head.
'Making a brew.'
'Does one not own a kettle?'
'One does actually.' He rolled his eyes to the heavens and I placed my hands firmly on to my hips.
'What are you doing here and do you know you're in my kitchen in your boxers?'
'Does one seem to have a memory block?' He mocked, kissed my forehead, threw his clothes on and left the house.

Memory block? No. I remember exactly what happened last ni... Oh good God! NOOOOO!

Flash back no 1: 8pm - me slightly tipsy on the phone to the ex (Ste) begging for him to come round and keep me company on a Saturday night. Please note that tears and emotional blackmail were involved.

Flash back no 2: 10:15pm - Ste arriving at my doorstep, slightly drunk himself, me even more drunk. (Tears and emotional blackmail still involved).

Flash back no 3: 10:17pm - Ste in my bed - NAKED. Me in my bed - Almost NAKED (well he struggled for a good five minutes with my bra strap).

Oh good God.

Please Santa, all I want for Christmas is a brain transplant. Wipe my memory and (even more emotional blackmail coming up) I'll sit on your knee for as long as you want.